Zutto
by Dhampir
Summary: Takes place after the war. 1x2. Death Fic! Duo takes a walk in the snow.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Gundam Wing_ nor any of the characters.  
**Note:** This is a **Death Fic** of a main character, sadness ensues.

**Zutto**

_Drip…_

Damn, I thought I fixed that faucet for the last time, puttied and soldered the thing until it was steel incarnate. I guess Heero was right, I should just call a plumber, but it just gets so boring around here. Who would've thought that the self proclaimed Shinigami would fall to hemophilia? And here I thought my slight figure and paleness was due to lack of nutrition. Apparently not, my parents had left me a little gift before forgetting about me and so now I gotta live with it.

I've been given a war pension as well as medical leave since I was technically working for the Preventors when the first sign truly appeared. I had gotten hit by shrapnel when a car bomb went off and they couldn't get the damn bleeding to stop, no matter what they did. It was a minor wound, but the blood wouldn't slow and they finally took me to a hospital where they diagnosed me with hemophilia.

Suffice to say, I was immediately terminated with medical leave for the rest of my life and became totally bored with it. At eighteen years old, I was frail, pale and subject to dizzy spells and almost constantly in pain, not to forget that cutting myself on anything was a danger to my life. I wasn't even allowed to take aspirin for a fucking headache, let alone anything stronger. At least now I know why I always bled more than the others during the war and here I thought it was just bad luck!

_Drip…_

Ah man, I thought I could tune out the sound, but I guess not. For some reason I feel more tired than usual and my fingers are numb, maybe it's because I went walking outside. It was the first snow after all and I couldn't just ignore it, I love snow. I never got to see it on L2 and after living on the streets the cold really doesn't bother me like it does most people.

I was feeling pretty good today too, nothing sore when I walked around or any dizzy spells and so why not? Heero will be mad though…he hates it when I overexert myself with the simplest tasks like mowing the grass or vacuuming the house. My poor lover, he always gets stuck watching me, but he's so loving about it and so I do try to be careful… But the weather today! How could I not?

_Drip…_

Couples passed me on the streets and I smiled at the young children having snowball fights and just running wild in the sheeted park. Glistening trees and quiet except for the sound of children's laughter was enough to sooth my soldier's soul, I had fought and survived that war for just this moment. I no longer saw young children being programmed for war, but instead living a life of peace as us Gundam pilots had always wanted.

Wandering further, I hummed a little tune and found myself nearing Heero's work when the idea struck me to visit him. I could show him how strong I was getting as well as see him since that was a rarity of late. He was always working hard on a case, but he always brought home the work while lately, he'd just been staying longer at work. I understood, of course I did, they had resources beyond any home computer—even one created by Heero—and he needed them. But I was beginning to miss my unruly lover…

_Drip…_

I had just crossed the street when I spotted Heero leaving the building, his trench coat pulled around him for warmth. Smiling, I began to wave when another figure appeared from behind him and wrapped their arms around him. Anger brewed inside of me as I waited for Heero to tell the annoying person off, as he already had a lover and I was the only one allowed to touch him in such a way.

_Drip… _

But he didn't. Instead, I could only watch as he turned in the other person's embrace and smiled at him, yes definitely a him. I blinked the snow out of my eyes, thinking maybe I was just imagining it, but even clearing my vision showed no difference in the scene before me except now Heero was kissing the man.

Tears stained my face, hot against my skin in the cool weather and I found I couldn't turn away even as Heero led the shorter man to his car. They whispered back and forth to each other, lips barely apart, and kissing once more before the man disappeared inside his car.

_Drip…_

Heero turned away, those vibrant cobalt eyes sweeping across the landscape and pausing on me long enough to acknowledge my presence before continuing on. Then those eyes doubled back to me and I watched as horror and guilt took precedence over his normally stoic features.

"Duo?" He whispered, his voice quaking so slightly I almost didn't hear it.

Shaking my head, I spun on my heel and peeled off towards the house—_my_ house—not wanting to look back.

Footsteps came after me and I heard him shout, his voice almost sounding terrified, "DUO!"

_Drip…_

But I didn't stop, I kept running, tears falling down my face until I was home and safe inside. Sobs choked me as I tried to understand. I was dutiful, wasn't I? I didn't push myself too hard and I don't think I'm ugly. I know I'm frail and sometimes weak, but did that mean I deserved this? Oh Shinigami, how it hurts! Why do I have to remember this? I was so happy today and for a moment there I forgot about Heero and just thought about the snow. So pure and innocent, nothing like me…no, I'm dark and corrupt.

_Drip…_

"Hey, oh shit, you're bleeding everywhere! Can you open your eyes?" Someone whispered, "Please, oh please, open your eyes…" The voice was sweet and greatly worried and I finally opened my eyes, but it seemed so hard to do.

I looked up at the same man Heero was with earlier. Beautiful sun kissed blonde hair fell to his shoulders and he was staring down at me with wide jade green eyes, his bottom lip between his teeth. He was gorgeous, no wonder Heero wants to be with him instead of me, we're complete opposites.

"Everything will be all right; we're getting you help right now." He continued, but I didn't understand. I looked beyond nervous and yet his voice was still calm as his eyes raked over my body. "Shit." He whispered, his voice finally breaking.

_Drip…_

"Duo?! Oh gods, Duo." Another voice said and I sluggishly moved my eyes to see a snow covered Heero falling to his knees beside me.

"Hee…" I began, but my voice failed me. When had I become so weak again? And why aren't I home? I thought I went home…

"Shh, shh, Shaberanaide." He said, reaching out with a gloved hand to stroke the side of my cheek. Shit, it must be bad if he's reverting back to his native language after so many years... The fabric scraped across my skin and I flinched at its roughness. Seeing my reaction, Heero tore off his gloves and then shrugged off his trench coat and covered me with it, his fingers sweeping back my bangs.

"I didn't even see him, I swear it." The other man whispered, tears beginning to fall down his face. "He came out of nowhere in this damn snow and I tried to stop, but… but…"

But Heero wasn't listening to him, his gaze were strictly on me, his hand stroking my braid. I followed his hands with my eyes and I gave a soft sigh that turned into a gurgling cough causing pain to lace through my chest. A pained cry left my lips, my muscles spasming as the taste of blood flooded my mouth.

"Oh God!" The man cried, his cell phone suddenly appearing in his gloved hands.

"Duo, please, look at me." Heero whispered and I felt him shift my body so my head was resting on his lap. Sluggishly, I looked up at him and tried to smile with bloodied lips. "Just rest love, don't push yourself."

"Did I hurt myself again?" I whispered, hissing at the pain.

"Shh." He said, "No, this time it wasn't your fault."

"Where the hell is the ambulance?" The other man suddenly said, phone pressed to his ear. "He's _dying_ dammit! I…I don't know, but he's coughing up blood and shit."

Heero looked up, his eyes narrowing dangerously before leaning forward to grab the phone from the blonde. "Ryan." He growled and the man immediately gave up his cell. "This is Heero Yuy with Preventors, what's your status?" He asked and I heard him grunt an affirmative. "Duo Maxwell, eighteen, Caucasian, five-five… Yes, he's a hemophiliac and in need of immediate assistance, possible blood transfusion. He took a direct hit to his lower abdomen…no, it was an SUV. Ah." The last word was whispered as he hung up the phone and handed it back to Ryan. His eyes riveted on mine and I saw there my death, though he still held hope within those blue depths.

_Drip…_

Smiling, I reached my hand up, not surprised at its bloody state, and caressed the side of his face, anger forgotten as tears began slipping down his face. "Tell me a story?" I whispered as blood trickled down the corner of my mouth.

Covering my hand with his own, he closed his eyes and nodded, more tears falling as he began speaking in Japanese so lowly that if I hadn't known the words, I'd never have heard them. His head bent over mine, he held me close and let his tears mix with mine. I don't know when it started, but when we were still fighting the war, he began telling me a story in Japanese whenever my nightmares became too much to bear. He no longer had to ask what story and so brokenly, he told it to me as he stroked my blood soaked hair.

**—_There once lived a young couple, newly wed and quite in love, at the bank of a river in the middle of a large forest. They loved the quiet of their home and lived in a quaint house made with meager tools, but it was enough for them for they had each other._**

_**One day, the man stepped down to the river bank to collect ice for water during the winter when he saw a beautiful woman standing amidst the fierce cold in nothing but a shift. Tantalized by her beauty, the man fell beneath the woman's spell, which was no woman but the spirit of the river, and moved onto the iced river to touch her. **_

_**Her eyes glowed as white as the snow beneath midnight bangs and just as he touched her, he found himself trapped beneath the ice, his lungs yearning for air. The spirit smiled down at him before disappearing with the snow, leaving the man to die.**_

**_The woman, worried for her husband, ventured to the river bank just to see him touch the spirit and become encased in ice. Falling to her knees, she dug at the ice, breaking nails and skin until cool water washed over her bloodied fingers. She dug more and more, moving into the river until she felt her husband's cold body and pulled him to shore._**

_**Yet he had stopped breathing and as she cried over his fallen body, the spirit appeared again beside her. The woman begged the spirit to take her life instead and restore that of her husband's so that he might live. **_

_**The spirit gave her a shard of ice and told her that she must kill herself in order for her husband to live. Thus she did, without hesitance, and fell dead upon her husband, whose life was restored to him. **_

_**So touched by the woman's dedication, the spirit made an allowance for the couple so that every night, the woman would appear at the river's bank and live from the rising of the moon to the first rays of morning light for as long as the man lived.**_

**_And so it was, that for as long as the man lived so did the woman, though in death, but their love conquered all and they were happy for the rest of eternity.—_**

_Drip…_

I smiled, my eyes growing heavy as Heero continued holding me in his lap. His words had long died out into silent sobs as I coughed up more blood. There was so much of it around me…was this all mine? The snow looked so pretty white too…I guess I soiled another pure thing.  
"No, Duo, don't close your eyes." He whispered and I struggled to open them again, my breaths becoming shallow as the weight on my chest grew heavier. Somehow I kept my smile firmly in place and snuggled into his chest, a sigh escaping my reddened lips.

"It's okay." I murmured, my eyes smiling up at him. Despite it being cold enough to see my breath, I felt oddly warm inside and out in Heero's grasp. Tearing my eyes away, I looked around at the swarm of people surrounding us for the first time and the car just a few yards away from me; I guess that's the one that hit me. Funny how I don't remember it…

_Drip…_

Somewhere sirens wailed and people whispered, somewhere lights blinded me momentarily and shouts of arriving paramedics could be heard, but staring up into Heero's eyes, none of that was there. "I love you…" I whispered, my hand feebly tangling in his shirt, my eyes growing heavy once more.

"No, please Duo. Don't close your eyes, please, just a little longer. We'll get you help a-and, oh gods…" Heero whispered, rocking my body lightly, his breath hot against my face.

" 'ro..." I said as my eyes fluttered closed, I don't know why he's so upset; the night is absolutely unforgettable with the snow fall. I always have loved snow and how could I not when it reminds me of Heero? Beautiful, aloof, cold and yet somehow warming at the same time.

"I'm so sorry Duo, I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry; I never…never meant to hurt you. Ai shiteru, please Duo, don't go. Gomen nasai, Duo, kudasai ikanaide. Ai shiteru zutto." His voice had broken and I could hear the hitching in his breath as his arms tightened around me. I wanted to tell him so many things but I found I had no strength to form sounds let alone words. Smiling, I welcomed Death and let go as the snow continued to fall around us.

_Drip…_

Dhampir  
11/02/06  
Page 5

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Ah me, oh my. Why the hell did I write this? Anyway, the story was of my own creation, I couldn't find any Japanese tales that I liked so I finally wrote my own. My Japanese sucks too so I wasn't even going to attempt to slaughter the language by translating it into Japanese. So it's in English.

Enjoy my wonderfully depressed my story and here's a glossary of terms:

**Shaberanaide:** Don't cry.  
**Gomen nasai:** I am sorry.  
**Kudasai:** Please (in terms of a request)  
**Ikanaide:** Don't go.  
**Zutto:** Forever


End file.
